Friday, January 29, 2010

The Exodus of Bedtime

I had a dream last night that I was invited to the White House to sit down and talk with President Obama about policies. When I left the very productive meeting I went back to work and posted this as my facebook status: “Just left my meeting with President Obama in the Oval Office. It went great. We talked for awhile and by the time I left he was a Republican.”

A girl can dream right?

And speaking of dreaming, we’ve been having trouble getting Jackson down for bed at night. We have our normal nighttime routine of bath, cup of milk, some cheddar cheese rice cakes, and then watch a few minutes of a movie, with the movie of choice right now being Robin Hood. We always set the timer on the microwave for 10 minutes and when it buzzes, in theory, it’s time for him to brush his teeth, go potty and then get in bed.

Did you notice that “in theory” part?

Reality is that Jackson pitches a fit when the buzzer goes off. A crying, screaming, wailing, temper tantrum throwing fit.

It’s exactly what we want to deal with at 8:00 at night.

Jackson has a few tricks up his sleeve that he always tries to delay the bedtime process if the crying and screaming don’t work:

1. He decides that he has a boo-boo somewhere that requires a Spiderman Band-Aid, and only Spiderman will work.
2. He desperately needs a glass of water.
3. He’s convinced that there’s a monster in his closet.
4. He wants a book or ten read to him.
5. He wants to pray for every single person that he’s ever met, or he wants to thank God for every single thing in his room, including his bottle of Germ-X.

Usually his approach is to try a combination of the options above, and his success rate is probably in the 90% rate for actually delaying bedtime.

Last night Jeremy was having a hard time with Jackson when I overheard this conversation:

Jeremy: “Jackson, it’s time to brush your teeth and go to bed.”
Jackson: “I don’t want to go to bed. God doesn’t go to bed.”
Jeremy: “Are you God?”
Jackson (without missing a beat): “No, I’m Moses.”

There is a nasty stomach bug going around Jackson’s daycare center, and Jeremy isn’t feeling good this morning. Please pray that with Moses in our house that we won’t all succumb to a stomach bug of Biblical proportions.

Have a great day!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Jackson in Action

I figured that some people might be needing to get a Jackson fix instead of reading me go on and on about my new washing machine and Adam Lambert. If you are in that category, enjoy!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

There's A New Girl In Town

I'm late in blogging today because there's a new girl in town.

And she's such a beauty.

With her four load sizes and 4 temperature settings...

Not to mention her 16 wash cycles, I think I've fallen in love.

My love affair may have something to do with the fact that she doesn't leak all over my floor and that she's so quiet you don't even hear her at all. Not even during the spin cycle.

But that's just a wild guess.

And I was so smitten I didn't even say goodbye to our old machine, may she rest in peace.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm 29 And Offically An Old Fogie

I got behind two drivers on the interstate this morning that were driving 45 mph during rush hour with clear roads in front of them. Of course they were positioned where there was no way to pass them for about a mile. I normally try to live my life all “what would Jesus do” but in this case even Jesus would have honked the horn. I’m just saying…

Now to my real bloggy material.

Y’all, I’m confounded about something and I don’t know where else to turn. I figured the blog-o-sphere would be a good place to start. Here’s my problem: I’m perplexed by the male species, especially where skinny jeans, makeup and hair straighteners are concerned. I got in a discussion at break with two girls roughly my age, and we were discussing the emo trends that have taken over people under the age of 20. If you aren’t familiar with the phrase, “emo,” it basically is the latest version of a goth or a punk. When I was in highly school all the gothic kids stood outside year round, even in the freezing cold, wore black lipstick, and were so pale they looked like vampires. Now, this new trend of “I’m such a punk guy that I want to look like a girl” just makes me feel very, very old.

Let’s break it down a little:

First up, the skinny jeans. I’m confused as to who decided skinny jeans were appropriate for anyone, whether male or female. We’ve always been taught by fashion magazines and people like Stacy London that anything that tapers to the ankle is a bad look because it creates that whole inverted triangle shape. How then, may I ask, is a pair of jeans that are tapered to your entire lower body supposed to be a good look? I’ve seen people wearing these jeans that are petite, as well as people who are, ahem, not so petite, and I’ve yet to think that they look good on anyone. In fact, I saw a girl the other day at the mall that was so skinny it looked like her thighs had never been introduced to each other. Yet, despite her skinniness, even she couldn’t pull off the skinny jeans.

So, why may I ask, do guys think that skinny jeans would look good on them? Because seriously, it just makes you look gay.

Now I realize that not every male that wears skinny jeans is gay, but seriously, it just makes you look gay. If that’s not the look you are going for, then I highly suggest you move on past the skinny jeans into the land of Levi Strauss & Co.

And skinny jeans are not attractive no matter how much you strut your stuff, despite the fact that you think you are rocking your skinny jeans. You just look dumb.

And last but not least, I can’t help but wonder if one day when you outgrow this ridiculous fad, if you will still be left with the ability to have children, because seriously, you should be concerned with that. Unless you are gay.

Next up, guys wearing makeup, especially guyliner. When did this become acceptable for a guy to do if his name isn’t Gene Simmons? Isn’t part of the joy of being a male being a wash and wear species? Makeup is expensive and time consuming and for girls! Now in all fairness, I’ll give a makeup pass to newscasters and weather men and actors (but only while they are on set). Other than that, there is no reason on God’s green earth that men should be wearing makeup, but especially guyliner. For simplicity’s sake, I’m also going to include nail polish in this category, because no guy should be wearing nail polish. Ever. I know that you are going for the metrosexual, emo look, but the look you have actually achieved is that of stupidity.

And I’m really sorry to inform Ashlee Simpson Wentz of this, but your husband Pete looks gay.
And I realize that not every guy that wears makeup is gay, but once again I find myself at the crossroads of this debate wondering, “If you are not gay, or even if you are, why are you wearing makeup?” Also, I'm no relationship expert, but if your husband is wearing more makeup than you, you might want to question a few things about your marriage.

And finally, guys straightening their hair. I have a hair straightener. I use it daily. I love it. But at what point did a guy pick one up, use it, and then say to themselves, “This is the manly, sexy look that I’m going for.” It’s time like these that I wish I had use of a time machine to go back in time, find that guy, and smack him around, because seriously, men with straightened hair is just wrong.

Need I say more?

If you combine all these bad looks together you get this:

American Idol runner up, Adam Lambert, who was almost the reason that I swore off ever watching that show again.

He alone could win my argument that men who wear skinny jeans, use makeup, and straighten their hair look ridiculous. Because any guy that makes appearance choices like that is only one bad decision away from performing on live television looking like this:

And then one more bad choice away from releasing an album that looks like this:

I rest my case.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I’m sure you are all sitting on the edge of your computer chairs wondering what in the world we decided to do about our washing machine issues. I won’t make you wonder any more. I spent a good bit of time on Friday researching and comparing washing machines and we finally settled on a few that I liked. Friday night after I got off from work we went to Home Depot, Sears, Lowe’s and then back to Home Depot to purchase our new washing machine. I was really nervous about it because it was my first major appliance purchase ever. When we bought our home it came with all the appliances, so I had never had to make a decision before on what kind of machine I hope to love for the next few years.

Y’all, I really, really wanted this:

But I settled on a simple, practical top loader.

It wasn’t so much that I wanted a front loader. I don’t really care either way for a front loader vs. a top loader. It was more of the fact that I was coveting the color choices offered by the front loaders. Why can my laundry room not be a turquoise colored vision just because I don’t have a front loader? Why should I be punished I ask you? The very practical and sensible top loader that we chose had the color options of white or white.

The only other color option for any of the top loaders: bisque. What is this, 1972? Do people really buy $400 bisque colored appliances now? After that color choice, I almost expected to see a mustard colored or avocado green top loader available for purchase, much like the washer we had when we first got married. It was passed down from my grandmother and it perfectly matched her avocado green refrigerator. It was a great washing machine, especially considering that it had been used through about 5 presidential administrations.

But sadly, it had a penchant for dancing across the floor during the spin cycle. I’m sure the people who rented the apartment below us just LOVED us whenever we washed clothes.

Anyways, I made my decision, got it seconded by Jeremy and then paid for the purchase.

I was barely in the parking lot when I began second guessing myself; Did we spend too much? Did we not spend enough? Should I have looked around more? Should we not have upgraded to the stainless steel tubes? Should we have gotten a front loader? Did I really want the bisque?

So many choices.

The worst part, other than dropping a good bit of dough and all the second guessing, was finding out that our new washing machine can’t be delivered to Wednesday.

I’m guessing that Home Depot doesn’t realize (or care) that we have a three year old.

I can't help but think that if I had sprung for the front loader that the washing machine would have been delivered and installed on Saturday. I guess I'll never know...

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Spin Cycle Of Life

Do you know what’s so not funny? How about when you are loading your dryer and you notice that you are standing in a puddle of water that has leaked from the washing machine.

And you know what else isn’t funny? When you find out that during the spin cycle the other day your machine apparently decided to try it’s hand at escaping the confines of your laundry room and started shaking so hard that it was literally moving across the floor.

It’s also not funny when you realize that your washing machine no longer realizes that it has a spin cycle.

It’s even less funny when you realize that your washing machine is now going from the regular cycle straight into the delicate cycle and then back into the regular cycle all without stopping. So apparently our washer has decided that it prefers working full-time.

But you know what is absolutely hilarious? We have our washer and dryer in a utility closet in our kitchen. It’s a double door closet (if you can picture what I’m talking about), so there isn’t much to spare. Jeremy and I had moved the washer out into the kitchen to clean up the floor, put it back, and then Jeremy squeezed into the small space that we made for the dryer so that we could clean it out. I had gone into Jackson’s room for a minute when I heard this awful pop and then him yelling, “Oooouuuucccchhhh!!”

I ran back into the kitchen fearing that: 1. Jeremy had gotten shocked or 2. (which was highly more likely) that Jeremy had slipped in the water and broken something. Again. When I got into the kitchen Jeremy is standing there with this odd expression on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he didn’t say anything. He just calmly held his foot up off the ground and this is what I saw attached to his big toe:


Can you even imagine? After I quit laughing and started breathing normally again, I pulled it off his toe. Jeremy told me that he saw the trap, but that he didn’t think he was going to be near it.

Apparently he was wrong.

Now I know I’m a horrible, horrible person for laughing, but y’all, it was so funny that even Jeremy started laughing. Eventually. When the feeling came back to his toe.

And he even said that my blog post would have been even better if I had taken the time to get a picture. I’ll try to remember that next time.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Sleep Like This Takes Talent

I’ve noticed that Jeremy has been rather tired lately, and I think we’ve pretty much nailed down the reason. Sometime over the last month or so Jeremy apparently thought that he needed a new hobby, so he decided to take up sleep walking. We're pretty sure it's a side effect of some medication, but it's been interesting to say the least.

And it’s been loads of fun for both of us, as I'm sure you can imagine. Poor Jeremy is just so stinking tired by all of this, and I'm defnitely not sure what to do to help him.

There’s really nothing quite like waking up in the middle of the night in bed by yourself in a dark house and not knowing where your husband is. I know he's somewhere in the house, I just have to find him. So occasionally, maybe two times a week at most since this has started, I’ve been waking up at random times in the middle of the night to an empty bed.

And did I mention that the house is completely dark?

Thankfully, his method of sleep walking doesn’t seem so much, “Get the car keys and go for a joyride while I’m still asleep.” His method is more of, “Get out of the bed and walk to random places in the house and just stand there. And fall back asleep. While he’s still standing.”

Sometimes he even gets tired of just standing around, so he just props up against the wall.

Oh yes, I can assure you that I’ve had much fun with this.

Almost as much fun as I’ve had retelling the story about when we had only been married for a few months and Jeremy woke me up in the middle of the night pointing to the end of the bed and saying, “Get that. Grab it before it falls!” I, of course, had no idea what he was talking about. I said to him (completely playing along because it was just too funny), “I can’t reach it. Can you grab it?” Jeremy said, “Yeah, yeah, I can get the paddle.” He then proceeded to stand up with one leg on the ground and one leg on the bed and started rowing a boat in the middle of our bedroom.

Y’all, I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life at my sweet husband.

And with this new talent of his, I’ve definitely had a few more laughs.

So far I’ve found him standing up asleep in the bathroom.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in the kitchen.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in Jackson’s room.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in the living room.

It’s like a narcoleptic version of a Dr. Seuss story.

And it completely confirmed my suspicions about what happened to our old remote control.

But last night, he pulled a new one on me. I woke up and found that he had put the kitchen trash can lid on me while I was sleeping. He, of course, was standing up in the bathroom at the time and swears that he has no recollection of doing it.

I was left wondering, at 2:00 in the morning, if subconsciously he thinks that I’m a trashy woman, or if he's just tired of putting up with some of my garbage.

So with my snoring and his sleep walking, I wonder if we could get a 2-for-1 deal at a sleep study center?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Scott Heard 'Round The World

Last night after watching the results of the Massachusetts Senate race I commented to Jeremy, "I bet Senator Ted Kennedy is rolling over his grave right now!"

My funeral director husband quickly said, "Yeah, you're probably right, but someone couldn't actually roll over in their grave. It just couldn't happen. Besides the obvious fact that they're not living anymore, there's just not enough room to roll over."

Well alrighty then...
Nevertheless, I'm elated! This is HUGE for conservatives. The fact that a seat held by a Democratic icon like Ted Kennedy for 47 years has been taken by a Republican should have every Democrat running for re-election in November shaking in their boots. Senator Brown will probably be the person that stops Obamacare in it's tracks, and I couldn't be happier! I can only imagine how Obama, Pelosi and Reid were feeling last night, but boy would I love to have been a fly on the wall.

Conservative Victory 2010, here we come!!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Please Tell Me That Someone Didn't Actually Try This

Have you ever heard a phrase that even though you have heard it your entire life, you hear it one day and you think to yourself, "How in the world did they come up with that?" Now I know that since I live in the south, we definitely have more than our fair share of sayings that are unusual, such as "Well bless her heart" which could be used when someone is just "plum off their rocker." Or how about "what in tarnations" which could be used right after you found out what the person who was "plum off their rocker" did. But that is neither here nor there.

I also have found that words sometimes sound really funny to me. Say the word "Earth" out loud. Go on. Say it. Now say it again really slowly. Eeaaarrrttttthhhh.

Isn't that a funny word! Who came up with that?

And why is it not spelled "Urth?"

I'm not quite sure who did the naming of our planets, but I think whoever did kinda dropped the ball on the creativity meter. They really should have come up with a word that has more "oomph" behind it. It should've been given a name that had more flair and was more magnificent like, "Look at our glorious planet, the only one that has water and air and gravity and people can live on it!"

Granted, that wouldn't exactly fit into the whole "MVEMJSUNP" thing that Screech taught us on Saved By The Bell.

And speaking of "MVEMJSUNP," am I the only one sad that Pluto has been demoted and is no longer a planet? What kind of bully could look at a planet in the sky and say to it, "I'm sorry, but you're just not big enough to be part of the planet club. You just go on and go play with all the other little stars out there, but you better stay in line mister, because we still need you to be part of this rotation thing we have going on."

And before I go on, I need to assure you that I have not been taking cold medication. I'm just thinking rather randomly lately. Blame it on actually working at work.

Yesterday I heard the phrase, "There's more than one way to skin a cat" and it just stuck with me all day. I mean seriously, who came up with that? I'm not a huge fan of cats mostly due to the fact that I'm highly allergic to them, but even the most allergic person in the world couldn't be that allergic. Could they?

Come to think of it, maybe that's where it came from.

I also tend to favor pets that won't turn on you at the drop of a dime and claw your eyeballs out.

Anyways, do you think someone actually tried to find more than one way to skin a cat? Surely, not! And why has PETA not protested the phrase? They protest everything else!

I got to talking about this phrase last night with Jeremy and I came up with a few ideas that are, perhaps, a little more animal friendly. Here were my suggestions:

There's more than one way to cut an apple.
There's more than one way to tie your shoes.
There's more than one way to row a boat.
There's more than one way to sharpen a pencil.
There's more than one way to scramble an egg.
There's more than one way to peel a carrot.
There's more than one way to cook a hot dog.

Come to think of it, I offered lots of food examples.

Jeremy's contribution to my ponderings: "There's more than one way to cut the cheese."

He's ever so helpful, that Jeremy of mine...

Monday, January 18, 2010

What I Learned This Weekend

It rained all weekend here, so we had quite a bit of time on our hands. We ended up not going to Build-A-Bear like we had originally planned because there was no way that I was getting out by myself in the rain with a three year old when I really didn't have to. We went to a birthday party Saturday afternoon and Jackson had a blast! I'll have to post video later because he was such a cutie at the party.

And since I really didn't do much this weekend, I had plenty of time to just chill with Jackson, which is always fun and entertaining! Here are some things I learned this weekend:

There really is nothing quite like sitting down on an ice cold toilet seat.

There really is nothing quite like getting home from the grocery store only to realize that you forgot to buy eggs, knowing that you were making breakfast for supper one night this week.

There really is nothing quite like the panicky feeling of hitting the water temperature dial in the shower all the way over to "burn your skin off" and realizing it a second before the water temperature actually changes. Then you have to do that "OMG I'm about to get scalded" dance in the shower while you readjust the temperature.

There really is nothing quite like the feeling of having your three year old drop the elbow bomb on your big hangie down thingies when you are laying in bed.

There really is nothing quite like the feeling when a random act of kindness that you performed comes back to you! Jeremy and I helped a gentleman having car trouble the other day. He kept offering to pay us something and we assured him that we didn't wanyanything from him, but that if he wanted to thank us, that he could come visit our church. He got our names and we thought that was the end of the story. Well, yesterday afternoon he dropped off an envelope at our door that had a large gift certificate to O'Charley's and a gift certificate to the movies. He called us later to make sure that we got it and kept saying over and over that he was just so grateful for our help that he couldn't not do something. I told him that we appreciated the gifts, but seriously, it would just make our day if he came to visit our church. Keep your fingers crossed that he will consider it. Wouldn't that just be the most awesome thing ever!

There really is nothing quite like the feeling of being able to leave your child at preschool or church nursery, or with a babysitter and not have to deal with a meltdown of epic proportions. We've noticed that Jackson is doing amazingly well when we have to leave now, and when I asked him over the weekend, "When did you get to be such a big boy?" he thought for a minute and said, "Hmmm. I think it was in January!"

And Jackson warmed our hearts yesterday when he told us that Jesus died on the cross for him. We said that yes, Jesus did die on the cross for him and that shows us how much Jesus loves us. We were feeling all warm and fuzzy from our exchange until Jackson piped up with, "And Mama, tomorrow I'm going to die on the cross just like Jesus!"

I think we have some more explaining to do!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Weekly Recap

• Remember on Tuesday when I told you that I needed to find a spot for Alabama Governor Bob Riley in my perfect cabinet for the next administration? Well, I didn’t tell y’all this beforehand because it wasn’t a done deal, but I got the chance to meet Gov. Riley at a luncheon through my work on Wednesday. I got his autograph (because I’m such a politically conservative dork!) and then asked him if I could get my picture with him. He of course said yes, so I went up onto the podium, around the security guy, and got a picture with him.

He was super nice, and in the thirty or so seconds that we talked we practically became best friends!


I actually got two pictures taken, but the first one wasn’t exactly a flattering picture of me. Since this is my blog, I decided to just opt out of sharing that one! I guess I’ve taken a page out of Obama’s book on being open and transparent!

• And guess what I’m considering doing tomorrow with Jackson? Attempting a trip to Build-A-Bear with him. Just the two of us. I know, call me crazy! We got another coupon for a free bear in the mail, and I just can’t pass up a free (up to $12) stuffed animal.

Let’s just hope that it works out better than our last solo trip to Build-A-Bear!

• Last night we went to go see comedian Brian Regan with my family, and oh mercy, I laughed until I literally couldn’t breathe. I laughed to point of snorting. It was quite attractive, really!

Here's a youtube clip of him in case you need a laugh today!


• And y’all, let me tell you something that I did the other day that was just too funny not to share. Jeremy’s Mom had emailed me and asked if I would send her a new picture of Jackson for her desktop background. I happily obliged and flipped through some pictures on my computer, found one from a few weeks ago that I haven’t shared yet, cropped it a bit, and sent it on.

She sent me an email yesterday with a picture attached of her new desktop background.


Cute, right?

I told her how much I liked the picture and then we emailed back and forth for a few more minutes until she sent me an email that said, “Did you notice anything about the picture?”

Perplexed, I went back to the picture she sent me and looked it over for a few minutes. I didn’t notice anything at all, so I emailed her back saying, “Am I missing something?”

She responded back and said, “Look at the picture you sent me and then the one I sent you back. His left hand.”

I flipped through my emails to find the picture that I had sent to her and when I pulled it up I just died laughing. Here’s the picture I sent her:


Notice anything?

Anything at all?

Apparently I was way too busy looking at this:

To notice this:


Or I would have sent it like this:


After I quit laughing hysterically, I wrote back, "OMG!!!! I totally didn’t see that at all! I’m dying laughing over here. I hope you are too!"

She responded back that she thought it was hilarious. Can I hear an amen for MIL's that have a good sense of humor! With the help of a coworker and photo shop, she ended up with a picture that was actually appropriate to be on her work desktop, instead of an interesting conversation piece at work, especially considering that he's as tall as her computer screen in the picture!

And we all lived happily ever after! Have a great weekend!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Help Haiti

Haiti Donate Online

We've all seen the pictures and videos coming out of Haiti following their devastating magnitude 7.0 earthquake. We've seen the utter destruction, chaos and devastation that has followed in the last few days.

And we need to help.

I'm in the same boat as most people in that I don't have a lot of money, but I am so richly blessed compared to people who have lost everything. We made a donation this morning to Compassion International to help with disaster relief in Haiti. It wasn't a huge gift, but I know that it will make a difference. We've supported Compassion International in the past and I like that it is a Christian organization that is already VERY involved in Haiti. In a country that's official religion is voodoo, this organization spreads the love of Jesus. They work with 65,000 kids in Haiti, a third of which live in the Port-Au-Prince area.

Whether you give to Compassion International, World Vision, the Red Cross, or some other organization that you support, just please make the choice to do something. It may mean that you have to sacrifice something superficial in your life, but I can guarantee that you won't regret it.

Just give...

Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors.

Deuteronomy 15:10-11 (The Message)

When I Get Five

I remember when I was a kid that I would always be thinking about some big milestone birthday that was ahead of me. When I was seven, I just couldn't wait to be ten. When I was ten, I just couldn't wait to be thirteen. When I was thirteen, I just couldn't wait to be sixteen. When I was sixteen, I just couldn't wait to be eighteen. When I was eighteen, I just couldn't wait to be twenty-one.

Now, not so much, especially with my next birthday being the big 3-0!

Jackson, at only three years old is obsessed with being five. I'm always hearing:

"Mama, when I get five, I'm going to get on the school bus and go to kindergarten because I'll be five and I'll be a big boy and I can get on the bus and go fast to school because I'll be five!"

Or...

"Mama, when I get five, you can let me get on a pirate ship and go be a pirate in Never Land with Captain Hook, because I'll be a big boy and I can be a pirate then, but I'll only be a nice pirate except for when I'm being a mean pirate because I'll be five and I can get on a pirate ship!"

Or...

"Mama, when I get five, I'm going to fly to the North Pole and see Santa and live there for a whole year and I won't see Macy for a long, long time, but I'll be five. I'll be so big that I can go help Santa and then I'll come home because I'll be five and I will be big!

I'm thinking that when Jackson turns five Jeremy and I are going to have our hands full! With a school bus riding pirate who's nice except for when he's being mean that wants to go live at the North Pole for a year, it's sure to be an adventure around our house!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Because It's Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I've posted a video of Jackson. He was in fine form the other night and I thought y'all would get a kick out of his antics. Or at least his Nana and Gigi will! Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I've Got It All Figured Out

First of all you must go watch that video. It is genius. A friend shared it on facebook and I just couldn't not pass on all that right wing goodness!

And second of all, I heard some exciting news: Sarah Palin is coming to Fox News! Y'all, I love me some Sarah Palin, and her book, Going Rogue, was really good at showing where she has come from and what she believes. I highly recommend it. Anyways, with Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Mike Huckabee and so many others, Fox News is officially the best news channel ever! (As if we didn't already know that!)

At first I was like, "Man, does that mean that she isn't considering a run for the Presidency in 2012?" but then I remembered that Mike Huckabee also hasn't ruled out a run for 2012, and since he also has a show on Fox News that I'm probably safe for the time being. Both of them will have a chance to highlight more about who they are and what they believe without all the media lies bias that comes from NBC, ABC, CBS and CNN. When, and if, the time comes for an election bid, then they should have a pretty good following. Seeing as how I love both Palin and Huckabee, I totally think that each of them would stand an amazing chance of changing this country for the better when the 2012 elections roll around.

And so therefore you know that a Huckabee/Palin ticket would just butter my bread! I'm ready to order me a yard sign already and sign up to volunteer for the campaign, because, if you know me at all, you know that I think a Huckabee/Palin ticket would be just about the best.thing.evah!

So here's my lineup for the new administration to take office in 2012:

President: Mike Huckabee
Vice President: Sarah Palin
Chief of Staff: Mitt Romney
Secretary of State: Condoleeza Rice
Treasury Secretary: Dave Ramsey
Communications Director: Rush Limbaugh
Press Secretary: Fred Thompson

That's all I've got figured out so far. I still have to fit in J.C. Watts, Alabama Governor Bob Riley, Laura Ingraham, Rudy Giuliani and a few more, but there are more than enough cabinet and czar positions left to get everything accomplished that I want done. All in all, I think it's a pretty darn good start.

Fox News channel might have to hire more than a few replacements, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there!

Monday, January 11, 2010

National Delurking Week

I'm so excited! I just found out that it is National Delurking Week which means that it's the perfect time for any lurkers (or blog-stalkers) out there in the blog-o-sphere to introduce yourself and let us all get to know you a little bit. I'll start:

Hi! My name is Amy. I'm a wife and mother, and unashamedly addicted to blogging about my life as a wife and mother. I try to be a "glass half full" kind of person, especially with all the adventures that we have around our house. I love, love, love comments. I'm a Republican. I'm Southern Baptist. And I'm a 29 year old that's come to love driving a minivan. Is that enough?

And did I mention that I love comments? Because I really love comments! So get busy clicking that "random thoughts" button down there and come out and play! I'm dying to get to know you! And I promise that if you leave me a comment, I'll come by and visit your blog. That's a huge part of what makes this whole blogging thing so much fun!

Now quit procrastinating and leave me a comment!

Friday, January 08, 2010

Happy Birthday Amy!!

Jeremy and I want to wish his sweet sister Amy a very Happy Birthday! She is such a wonderful person with a heart of gold, a passion for life, and a faith that is undeniable. Jeremy and I pray that 2010 brings her many blessings. We love you!
Happy Birthday Amy!!!

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Hook 'Em Horns

You may or may not be aware that tonight is the BCS Championship game between Alabama and Texas. Trust me, if you live in our state, you are definitely aware of the game tonight. I think our local news channels have sent just about news crew that they have out to California to come up with intriguing stories like, "Look, I found an Alabama fan who is from Montgomery and now he's a big fancy chef in California and we need to interview him while he cooks us something tasty to see who he thinks will win" and "Now we've found this (and I wish I was kidding) 9 year old kid surfing and let's interview him to see who he thinks will win."

It's rather nauseating really.

I am totally dreading watching this tonight because I'm a major Auburn fan, born and bred, a former Auburn band member and an Auburn graduate and Alabama is our biggest rivalry. Believe it or not, I have friends who are Alabama fans (shocking, I know!), and one-on-one they are fine. It's just when they get in a large group they become completely obnoxious with their houndstooth, Tide detergent containers, toilet paper rolls, and their obsession with Bear Bryant.

Yeah, it makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

I'm also dreading the game tonight because you may remember that Jeremy is claiming to be an Alabama fan now.

It hurt me just to type those words out.

Anyways, I've had a lot of people (not Jeremy because he's smarter than this) tell me things like, "You should want them to win the National Championship because they are from your state" or "You should want them to win because they are an SEC team, and a win for the SEC team is a good thing for Auburn."

Do you know what I have to say about all that: Phooey. No Way. Yeah, Right. And Not. Gonna.Happen.

To rationalize that I should want to pull for a team just because they are from my state, even though we are rivals to the core would be the same as assuming that I should want to drink sour milk, just because it's from my fridge.

And I'm not gonna bring politics into this, but W totally pulls for Texas, and we all know how much I love him. Any team of his is a team of mine!

To borrow the words of the famous Dr. Seuss:

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like Alabama.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

But, to be completely fair, I would pull for Alabama in one circumstance: If you told me that they would be able to cure cancer or AIDS or some other major illness only if Alabama won, then, and only then, I would yell my heart out for Alabama.

But seeing as how that's probably not gonna happen tonight, Hook 'Em Horns!!!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

What OTC Cold Medication Does to Me

From what I have found, I must be a rather amusing person to live with when I'm taking cold medication. I snore like a freight train, at least according to Jeremy's oversensitive ears, and I have pretty random things pop into my head.

For example:

  • Have you ever wondered why Cucumber and Melon scents are always put together to become Cucumber Melon scented products? Do cucumbers really smell that good? I know I love the scent of melons, but cucumbers are nothing more than pickles in waiting. I think that we should lobby the smelly-good-stuff industry for more melon scented products. Melons are definitely strong enough to stand on their own without the unnecessary cucumbers holding them up. Who's with me?
  • I love VW Bugs. I think they are just about the cutest car ever. But seeing as how I've grown accustomed to my big ole I-can't-believe-I'm-29-and-driving-a-minivan vehicle, I don't think a VW bug would fit my lifestyle. Sooo, we should get the makers of the VW Bug to make a minivan sized version of the car. Just think about how cool it would be to see an army of big bugs driving down the road. It would be genius. I would totally get one in navy blue. They could call them Lady Bugs. I need to trademark that.

And I have some really random dreams on cold medication. Last night I dreamt that I broke into a church members house just to see how she had it decorated. Never mind the fact that I had a key to her place. And even worse, I got caught coming out of her house and I totally lied about breaking in. I claimed that I was driving down the road and I saw that their front door was open and that no cars were in the driveway, so I was checking to see what was going on. Nobody bought it. So from then on, no one in my church would let me have a key to their house, but somehow they thought it was fine for me to still be chairman of the nominating committee. Figures.

But at least that dream was better than my dream from the other night where I was riding to Atlanta in an old Oldsmobile with Barack and Michelle Obama. We were on our way to White Water and Six Flags. I woke up in a cold sweat and was so disturbed by the fact that I was friends with Barack and Michelle Obama that I literally could.not.go.back.to.sleep. I was equally disturbed by the thought of my friends finding out that I was friends with the Obama's. It was quite horrible, really.

And in more this-has-nothing-to-do-with-anything-else news, Jackson informed Jeremy and I at supper last night that he is teaching all the boys in his preschool class to tackle. I'm sure his teacher is loving us right now. At least he also told us that he's telling the boys not to tackle girls. It's hilarious watching him tackle though. He gets all set down and hollers, "Down, set, hunt. Fifty-nine. Hunt" and then tackles whoever is in his way. Well, it's funny to me, because he knows not to tackle his Mama!

And also, we've established a "Mama gets dressed behind closed doors" policy around our house. It's never been a big issue to me if Jackson sees me getting dressed, until a few days ago. I certainly had done my best to get changed whenever Jackson was at the other end of the house, but for anyone who has ever had a preschool knows, kids are fast! He happened to walk into my room just as I was holstering the girls the other morning and pointed to my chest and said, "What are those?" I tried to brush it off and say, "That's Mama's chest." Jackson said, "No, Mama. What are those big hangy down thingies?"

After I quit laughing I successfully got the big hangy down thingies put away. Hopefully with the new policy in place, it's going to be one of those "out of sight, out of mind" things with him. I just pray that he doesn't tell his teacher (or the boys in his class)about his Mama's big hangy down thingies. I'd hate to get a note home about that!

Monday, January 04, 2010

What I've Learned Thus Far

Seeing as how we are already 4 days into the New Year, I thought I might share with you some tidbits of things that I've learned so far this year.

1. I learned that the makers of foundation should come up with more original names for the different shades, much like the nail polish O.P.I. I finally used up the last bit of my Loreal Infallible #605 foundation the other day. When I went to go check out the other colors, I decided that it was time to trade in my "nude beige" color for #604 seeing as how it is a better color for my albinoness skin tone this time of year. The name of the color: Natural Ivory. It really should be called "Get Thee To A Tanning Bed."

2. When I took Macy to the vet because she was still having some, ahem, digestive issues, I learned that they don't actually make medications for dogs. The medicine that dogs can take is the same medicine that you and I would take, just adjusted for dosing. If that’s the case, why the heck didn’t he tell me to give her a dose of Pepto-Bismol or Imodium before they charged me $100 to tell me that she has diarrhea. Thanks, Captain Obvious for that little tidbit of information. I didn’t need a degree from vet school to figure that much out. Somehow the big pile of poo in my living room had already led me to that conclusion. Thankfully, she is doing better now that we’ve dropped $30 on approved-as-safe-for-dogs human medication for her.

3. I learned that no matter what, I’m never going to be one of those people that enjoy staying up till midnight on New Years Eve. It’s just not worth it. Trust me, I'm a better person for not staying up past bedtime.

4. I've learned that all that global warming garbage is causing us tons of problems here in the deep South where it was 20 degrees this morning with a windchill of 11 when I left for work. If this is Winter with global warming, we're gonna be in an Ice Age in just a few years!

5. And I learned that when taking OTC medication for this nasty cold that I’ve procured, my spelling gets really bad (or creative, just depending on how you look at it). I just spelled the word “skills” as “skils.” That my friend, takes skilz.

Have a great day!

Friday, January 01, 2010

What Sounds Better: "Welcome to Twenty Ten or "Welcome to Two Thousand Ten?"

I'm voting for the two thousand ten option. Twenty Ten sounds all 2001 Space Odysseyish to me, except with a different year.

Anyways, Happy New Year!!!

I'm not usually great about keeping my New Year's resolutions. I fail by like January 10th and give up. But not this year. No sir. This year, I'm making my resolutions and keeping em'. So I decided that the only way to accomplish this would be to lower my resolution standards! See in the past I've made resolutions like run a 5k or lose 20 lbs.

Obviously neither of those ever happened because they both would have been completely blog worthy.

So here are my resolutions for this year, in no particular order:
1. Do everything in my power to make sure that Jeremy, Jackson and I stay healthy (and whole) this year! I'm claiming that 2010 is the year of no more broken bones!
2. Avoid swine flu like the plague.
3. Read the entire Bible in a year. I've read the New Testament through 3 times, but I always get bogged down in the Old Testamant. I'm finishing it this year!
4. Wash my hair daily and brush my teeth at least 2 times a day. Since I'm already doing this, I figure I've got this one in the bag.
5. Actually buy a pair of pantyhose (or tights) this year. How I made it through the winter of 2009 without them is like a modern day miracle. Either that or it could be due to the fact that I wore pants 5 days a week to work during winter.
6. Take my lunch to work at least 3 times a week. One can try right?
7. This one is a secret. Any guesses as to what it might be?

Do you have any resolutions for 2010? And do you think you can actually keep your resolutions?

And I kinda gave a hint to you with my secret resolution. Any guesses?

Happy New Year!!
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